A Balloon Story (Or Stories)

Have I mentioned Matthew's insane obsession with balloons? I mean, you almost have to see it to believe it. A trip to the store with him has become a real undertaking. Quite frankly, the very thought of it gives me anxiety. Have you ever noticed how many balloons there are out there? Just randomly floating around? You'd be surprised. I know I have been. They are everywhere. And Matthew has a 6th sense when it comes to finding them. Next time you are at a Walmart, look up and see how many are stuck in the ceiling. I bet you find at least 3. This is something I have learned in the last 6 months carting Matthew to the store with me. He love, loves to scream for those impossible to get, balloons. Even when you are able to get to the balloon and give it to him, he still whines and cries because it's not floating right. I mean, seriously. It's insane. About two weeks ago we were at the grocery store and they had this big display of cereal on sale. And a whole bunch of Mylar balloons that said Savings on them. Matthew saw those things from 8 aisles away and immediately started screaming. Do you have any idea what it's like to try and concentrate on shopping when you have THAT going on? People are staring at you. It's heinous. So I book it over to the display, half climb on top of it, wrestle with the balloon knots for several minutes. This whole time Matthew is screaming, reaching, trying to climb out of the cart. Calling unwanted attention to my precarious position. Ah Ha!! I got one! I give it to him so that we can finish our shopping in relative peace. At the check out I ask the lady if I could possibly buy the balloon. "Where did you get it?" She asks. "Oh, on that cereal display over there." She takes one look at Matthew. "Just take it." She tells me. "Are you sure?" Exasperated, she says, "Yes! Just take it! Take it, and GO!" What? Are you saying you want us out of the store? Don't blame you a bit. This one time, Matthew got his hands on a 20 dollar Spider Man balloon. Uh, maybe when hell freezes over. So at the checkout we made quite a scene. Him screaming, me trying to pry the balloon out of his hand. Ethan asking for gum. Everyone looking at me like I was the world's meanest mother. Single worst experience of my life! (Well, except for the emergency C-section. But that's in a different category) I need a valium just to go to the grocery store. And here my friends... is my all time favorite. We are sitting in church. Things are quiet and peaceful. I'm listening to the beautiful music... when they open the overflow. And what do you think was in the back of the cultural hall? Menacingly floating there on the ceiling. Blue and Gold balloons from some Boy Scout banquet. Oh, the utter disregard for reverence, not to get rid of those before Sunday. That was it. Matthew screamed and pointed and carried on until I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed him and one of those blasted balloons and came home. Church was not to be that day. I took a few pictures for documentation. I'm thinking about showing them to the bishop. Maybe getting someone a much deserved reprimand. In these pictures Matthew is as pleased as punch. I on the other hand need a stiff drink. And there you have it. Matthew plus balloons. No picnic!!