A HO HO HOrror Story (a kinda long one)

Waiting in line

It all began with a very, very, VERY long line. For a week or so now Ethan has been asking to go see Santa. Now most the time I love living out here in Tooele but because we don't have a mall we don't really have a place for Santa to hang out. So this request meant a trip to Salt Lake which is just a tad bit time consuming and out of the way. But when your Little One wants to see Santa you're going to take em to see Santa. Right? Now please note that this little excursion was our third attempt at a visit with Old St. Nick so we started out just a little desperate. And I was a little concerned about the weather because there was a winter storm warning in effect. The roads can get pretty bad between here and Salt Lake. However in the end we decided to take a chance and off we went. We got there about noon and of course we couldn't find a park. But we were determined. While we are looking for a park it begins to snow. Needless to say I felt some urgency to hurry. I wanted to get on the road and get back. Well we fought our way through the monstrous crowd and just as we get in line they put up a barricade with a sign on it that says (basically) after everyone in front of this sign has seen Santa he is going to have a one hour lunch break and everyone behind the sign, well, this just isn't your day. I was the second person behind the sign. I wanted to cry. This was going to take ALL DAY! At this point I happen to glance out the mall doors and the snow is really coming down. I had visions of us frozen in a ditch on the side of the road. So I panicked and did something totally against my nature. I nonchalantly butted in line. I know. I can't believe I did it either. Now on a good day I think people who butt in line should be shot. At the very least, dragged through the street like the dogs they are. But I'm happy to say, I learned something today (besides the fact that you should never ever butt in line) and that is desperate people do desperate things. I'm going to remember that next time I feel like somebody wrongs me. Who knows what personal demons they are fighting. I'm just gonna give them the benefit of the doubt. Which is what I hope all those people did with me today, cuz this story is about to take a turn for the worse. Several minutes went by and I started to think I was in the clear when I hear a loud, grouchy, irritated voice say, "Hey You! You cut in line! You weren't there before!" You can't do that!" It was Santa's helper. Now I know that I totally had this reprimand coming to me. I can't blame the Elf. But to say that I was mortified is an understatement. I seriously wanted to crawl in a hole. I tried to offer up a lame excuse for my pitiful behavior. "It was snowing, and we'd come all the way from Tooele. We had to get back before that snow started to stick on the roads." Well, this was one of Santa's mean, unforgiving elves. He angrily informed me that everyone there was from Tooele! And that I could go to the back of the line or leave. (They didn't want my kind). I wanted to shout "Well, if everyone here is from Tooele, why in the name of all that is Sacred and Holy aren't you set up IN Tooele? (Bonehead) But instead I hung my head in shame and went to the back of the line. At this point Mark shows up. He'd missed all the drama parking the car. He suggests that we just go eat lunch too. Whatever. I seriously had a huge lump in my throat and wanted to cry. So we go eat a quick lunch and head back to get in line. Even though there is no Santa, the line has grown! I kid you not, it looked like the line from the movie A Christmas Story. It was almost deja vu. The line. The angry elf. (You'll shoot your eye out kid! HO HO HO) So we get in line. And we were there for a very, very long time. Over two hours. I wouldn't have believed it if we hadn't lived it. Part of the problem was I don't think Santa's lunch agreed with him. He had to get up and run to the bathroom three separate times. Adding at least 30 minutes onto our wait. I guess you could say he had the trots. At one point Ethan looked up at me and said, " I think Santa has to go potty a lot." It did seem that way. So to recap. We waited in a horrendously long line, got yelled at by an angry elf, all for a brief visit with Santa who was suffering from a bad case of intestinal distress! On the bright side? We had a very happy little boy and by the time we were ready to head home it had stopped snowing. It was a Christmas miracle! And if you are still reading this, you must really love me. (Right back at ya!)